When talking about relationships, many people go straight to thinking about relationships with others. When in fact the most important relationship you have is with yourself as you’re the one person that will be in your life forever. 

It’s sometimes hard to focus on yourself when you may not want to miss out on things that involve other people. Especially since the pandemic has started when people have realised the importance of staying connected with friends and family. 

Building a Relationship with Yourself | Michelle Lim | TEDxYouth@Singapore 

Knowing Where to Start!

Knowing where to start can be a difficult thing to navigate. You may be thinking, “how do I start when I don’t have time?”, or “I already know a lot about myself. Why do I need to know more?”  

Knowing yourself is a main part of having a good relationship with yourself but it’s also about keeping track of yourself. For example, knowing when to take a break, if your likes and dislikes have changed, knowing if you actually want to be involved with something and so on. It’s mainly about listening to your mind and body. 

Make a schedule 

Making a schedule will help you get started on spending more time on yourself. It will help you stick to this new routine as it is planned out. It will show you that you can do everything that you want to do even when more time is spent on yourself. 

Whether this new time for yourself comes in the form of a morning routine, a nighttime routine or just a couple of hours to yourself in your room listening to music, it’s all about yourself so do what works for you best. 

Learning to Love Yourself | Amanda Jetté Knox | TEDxYouth@Nepean 

Knowing how to keep it consistent! 

Many people may start something new but after a couple of weeks or months, they’ll just stop doing this new activity, just like with new year resolutions. How many people actually keep them going?  

Keeping it consistent and a part of your routine for more than just a couple of months is important. You’ll see more of a change over a longer period of time when you stick to what you said you’ll be doing.  

Plan for short, middle and long term

Establish and set goals for different time frames. It will help you focus yourself on a couple of goals at different stages in life rather than thinking about everything at once. Yet, still having the bigger goals in mind. 

Having smaller goals to help reach the bigger goals will help keep you reach the main goals that you have set. It’ll keep you motivated as well as being able to keep these habits as a consistent part of your life for longer. 

Knowing how to keep myself motivated!

Motivation changes a lot and it doesn’t stay the same at the different stages of your journey. In the beginning of your journey to having a better relationship with yourself, motivation can be seen more often. As time goes on, motivation can decrease. 

So, how can you keep yourself motivated? There are many ways that you can do this, including having help from others. You may be thinking “how can others help me improve my relationship with myself?” 

Find people with similar goals 

Working on yourself doesn’t mean that you can’t have the support from others, or keep friendships with people. Having people behind you can help you reach your goals as you can feel less alone. 

Having people there for you means that you can ask for advice, even when you’re not having those people with you when you’re working on yourself. It’s about balance! Having time to yourself but still having that human connection.  

Cultivating Unconditional Self-Worth | Adia Gooden | TEDxDePaulUniversity 

What does a Good Relationship with Yourself Look Like

Overall, your relationship with yourself is more than knowing what your likes and dislikes are. It’s something everyone has to work on at some point in their lives. Remember, don’t be so hard on yourself. It can take time and don’t feel like you can’t ask for help just because it’s something that you alone have to work on.