In this blog you will read about a young persons experience about their jorney of being bisexual.

Just last year I posted a pride post on my Instagram account which was the first time I had discussed my sexuality publicly. I had already “come out” to most people closest to me. Although, it was the first time where my other friends, family and even old classmates could see. 

I have never been a fan of the idea of “coming out”, not because I don’t want people to know about my sexuality but because I’ve never felt like that should be something that I have to do. I am interested in all genders and after coming to terms with this, I never really hid my sexuality or my attraction towards the same gender. Unfortunately though, we still live in a world where many people see straight as the default. Even I have been guilty of this because it is ingrained in our society.

I started to question my sexuality when I was around 17. I think I knew earlier but in school the idea of being “different” is terrifying so I suppressed parts of myself out of anxiety. Even though I noticed and accepted my attraction to girls, I didn’t want to put a label on my sexuality yet. 

I was figuring out who I was as a person and I was satisfied with just being attracted to people and not overthinking my identity. Both labelling your sexuality and not wanting to label your sexuality are both valid and you don’t have to put yourself in a box to fit into the lgbtq+ community. 

After a couple of years and learning more about myself as a person I started to think of myself as bisexual. I genuinely started to connect with this label, this community and eventually decided that this is how I identify. This is who I am and this is how I feel comfortable describing myself and that label was the right choice for me as a person.

When I started telling people I was bisexual, I had different responses. A good friend of mine was really supportive and I often spoke to her about my sexuality, both my internal and external struggles, my fears and my feelings about who I was and how other people would treat me or react to my sexuality. 

I will always be thankful to her for listening and supporting me through my journey and I hope others are lucky enough to have someone like that in their lives when they are figuring out who they are. Unfortunately, I also had to deal with negative responses such as people questioning my sexuality asking me if “I’m sure I’m bisexual” and insinuating that my attraction to women might have been a phase. They do not realise how deeply we have thought about our sexuality, how we have questioned ourselves and what we have experienced. 

I have even experienced other people within the lgbtq+ being dismissive or question my sexuality. It isn’t just straight people that can invalidate you or discriminate against you and it hurts because you expect better understanding and support from your own community. Unfortunately that is something we experience but they are the ones with the problem, not you. 

I hope anyone reading this knows that no matter what people say about your sexuality or gender, your experiences and how you choose to identify is valid. People might dismiss you because you’re young, people might try to invalidate your sexuality based on your relationship status or history but you know yourself better than anyone else. 

Don’t let others try to define you or make you question yourself. It’s easier said than done, but your identity is valid and there are people and communities out there that will support you and uplift you. Some of the people who had that initial response, did actually learn something about sexuality when I explained how I felt, how sexuality is a spectrum, and what it means to be bisexual. They unlearnt the idea of what they thought bisexuality or even sexuality in general was.

My family and friends were supportive and accepting when they found out I was bisexual. I was afraid of the response I would get from certain people as I didn’t want to taint my relationships with them but I got lucky. My relationships didn’t change and now I feel more comfortable as I feel like I can unapologetically be my full self. 

I know not a lot of people don’t have positive experiences and for some, it may be unsafe for them to come out. If you are lgbtq+ and you feel like you are at risk at home please reach out for support. There are people out there that can help. I’m sure Platfform have resources and can find you the support you need and you can ask to speak to an lgbtq+ member of staff or at least someone who is experienced in dealing with the lgbtq+ community.

As I write this, I realise how far I’ve come. I went from a scared teen who suppressed any attraction to women that came up to someone who is unapologetically and openly bisexual. I will have no problem telling others (if it is safe to do so!) and not letting the biphobia out there, whether it is aimed at me directly or not, get to me. It has been a journey that I went through for years and little by little I became more myself, not just relating to my sexuality but to who I am as a person. 

No matter how you identify, even if you don’t label yourself or if nobody knows your sexuality/gender, pride month is for you. You don’t have to be “out and proud” or in a queer relationship, or fitting into a gendered stereotype to be valid, or to celebrate yourself even if you’re only celebrating pride internally. 

Know that you are never alone and there will always be a community here for you and the majority of us are accepting of all no matter how you identify or where you are in your journey. Hope you all have a safe and happy pride month 2022!