We all want to feel more confident at times. This could mean having the courage to be our true selves around anyone and everyone, or feeling able to call people out when their behaviour is harming us, or to simply be able to say ‘no’ to things or people. But why can these feel like such difficult things to do? 

When we think of confidence, we don’t always acknowledge that this also means allowing ourselves to feel vulnerable, accepting that we feel scared, and not judging ourselves for it. Confidence is the ability to believe in ourselves even when things are difficult, or when we’re afraid. It comes from knowing that, whatever the situation, we will always show ourselves the patience and understanding we need to get through. 

If you never feel scared, then you never have to try and be confident – one can’t exist without the other. If we’re confident, then we’re able to admit that fear to ourselves, while not letting it hold us back from achieving the things we want to achieve. 

 If being confident means allowing ourselves to feel vulnerable, it might help to draw strength from focusing on something that is really meaningful to us. Looking after yourself can be your first step. 

Another good step is to ask yourself some simple questions about bravery:   

  • What things do you need your confidence for?  
  • What do you value enough to try and do, even if it’s difficult or scary?  
  • What do you believe are the most important things in your life, or in the world? 

Every person will have different answers, and that’s okay – beauty is in diversity. But understanding what’s most important to you can help you decide when and where you need to call on your confidence.