The holidays are supposed to be a happy and cheerful time to celebrate with your loved ones but if you’re struggling with your mental health, holidays can be a difficult time.
I have struggled to get through Christmas and other “happy” occasions in the past because I was struggling mentally and the guilt of feeling like my low mood would ruin it for others and the worry that I seemed ungrateful worsened my mental health.
It is important that we remember not to feel guilty for the way that we feel. Your thoughts are valid. Your mental health is important. You being late to a Christmas gathering because you had a panic attack has not ruined everyone’s Christmas. Mental challenges don’t go away for the holidays, and many people are struggling with mental health during this time.
I think it’s important that we don’t try to hide our struggles behind false positivity. If you have people that care about you that will be with you over the holidays you should open up to them if it is safe to do so. Try to explain to others why you feel this way – explain that your mental health is making it hard for you to be around people and that you can’t fully enjoy yourself. Make sure they know that it isn’t anyone’s fault that you’re struggling and that you’re not being ungrateful if you seem sad and disconnected.
If the people around you haven’t experienced mental health challenges themselves, they might find it hard to understand why you don’t seem any better, or maybe even seem worse, during such a “happy” time. If they aren’t understanding or supportive when you try to explain how you’re feeling, seek outside support.
If you have anyone in your life who is struggling with their own mental health perhaps you can get in touch with them or join an online support group or get in touch with services like Platfform or MIND to see what other support is out there. It is very important to remember to put your mental health first.
If you need a break, have a break. Don’t do something that may make you worse or trigger you. Even if you don’t have mental health challenges, the holidays can negatively impact your mental health as it is a stressful time. There is usually a physical, mental and financial strain put on most people during the Christmas season.
It is exhausting trying to prepare everything, attend different commitments and if you’re a perfectionist like me, making sure everything goes to plan and giving everyone the perfect gift. Remember to set some time apart to relax and focus on yourself. Self-care is important and it is not selfish to prioritise yourself now and again. Christmas is about giving but not giving too much of yourself.
Not everyone has a healthy family or home environment to spend Christmas in and dealing with spending Christmas around toxic people is something that many people unfortunately have to deal with. You may not be in a safe environment, and you may not have the means to leave or spend the holiday period with someone else. This alone can understandably worsen your mental health.
Reach out to the support systems I mentioned earlier if you’re spending Christmas with people who are worsening your mental health. There are others out there going through the same thing and you can support each other. Remember, you deserve better and some day you may find people to spend the holidays with that actually deserve you.